Where He Brought Me From
Chapter 1: More Than What We Are
1.1 More than what we are: Change
So today was a crazy day as is every day of my life. I love a boy who isn’t worth my time so I waste my time being worthless. Now I know I’m worth a lot but you couldn’t tell with the things I endure on the daily. When did I forget who I was? I think it was the day I lost my virginity and my vagina started telling my heart and my head that it knew what love was. Silly to think I was making love when I was only having sex, but I followed suit and look where I am. I’m married, but separated, lost, confused and somewhat hurt. I’m only 24 but then again I am 24. I’m only me but then again I am me.
It was an unusually cold morning in April as Jessica was awoken by the sound of her alarm clock. She could feel how cold it was it outside in her drafty New York loft. As she could no longer ignore the sound of the alarm she reached over to her nightstand and pressed the snooze button. Ten more minutes she thought. Jessica pulled the covers up over her head and began to drift back to sleep.
She had just broken up with her no good lazy ex-con boyfriend of six months and she was a wreck. Jessica didn’t even want to get up out the bed. She had been in bed all week long watching Korean dramas. She seemed to attract a certain type of guy and she always fell in love. Jessica was married at age twenty-one and divorced by age twenty-two. Her ex-husband was verbally and physically abusive but abuse was all she knew. It was all Jessica had ever seen in a relationship, even though she knew it wasn’t what she wanted it was familiar. This time was no different than any other; Mitchell had used her just like every other guy. He was a bartender at Aloha’s one of the places she frequently performed. Mitchell seemed like a guy who had made some mistakes but wanted a fresh start, when he really was just an ex-con trying to get over. He lived at her apartment and didn’t help pay any bills. He would often come home late and drunk after losing his entire paycheck gambling. It was the final straw when Jessica caught him cheating with a waitress but she still missed his company. She hated being alone and Jessica always felt like she was alone.
Jessica Kealoha was a 24-year-old singer-songwriter who made her living singing in nightclubs and coffee houses. She was a woman with a grudge against men, a woman scorned and she let it show it her music. Jessica couldn’t be alone so she always found herself with some loser who would end up the subject of her next song. She felt like she was destined for more but she was stuck in a downward spiral, loser after loser, deadbeat after deadbeat. She had lost her father at the tender age of 14 to kidney failure and was left with an evil stepsister, a nonchalant mother and a cruel stepfather. She never really learned how to love because she never truly felt any love. Her talents often went unrecognized at home and it made Jessica feel alone. Her stepfather who was often in a drunken rage about nothing constantly harassed her while her mother sat and watched aimlessly. As soon as Jessica turned eighteen she moved to New York with her money from waiting tables in Pensacola to try and live her somewhat impossible dream. She knew impossible like a childhood friend she always never quite met the mark but little did Jessica know this morning was different, things were about to change.