Often the words “Let It Go” have been used as an alternative to taking responsibility for ones actions. This is my personal belief, but I believe that anyone who has hurt or wronged you has no right to tell you to let it go. Now I’m saying that you shouldn’t let it go I’m just saying that you should be allowed to go through the process. In order to get over a situation you must admit that it’s a situation to begin with. You have to give yourself permission to feel without being overtaken by your emotions.
For instance if you put your hand into a fire but you have no sensation in your hand you won’t feel the heat. You will be able to look at your hand and see that you have been burned but you don’t feel the pain. When you don’t acknowledge the pain that something has caused you tend to end up back in the same harmful predicaments. The term let it go for me speaks directly to forgiving what or who that has caused you pain. But letting go is no way excusing someone’s bad behavior. You forgive so you can move on and sometimes that means more than just moving on from a situation but from a person.
No one is angry at the flames for burning them but you still acknowledge the pain. This is the same way we must treat people who have wronged us. We were born into sin so I have accepted the fact that most of the horrible things people do are in their nature. Can you be angry at a lion for being a lion? Will you hate a shark for being a shark? The answer for a logical person is no. So why be angry with people for being people?
2 Peter 1:5-9
5 And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge;
6 And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;
7 And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.
8 For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
9 But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins.
Just like you stay out of the lion’s den and get out of water when there is a shark warning I suggest to stay away from people that mean you no good. You have to know who and what doesn’t suit you. That doesn’t mean to just cut people off without warning. You have to evaluate your situation logically and weigh the pros and cons. You also must inform people of what they have done wrong and give them a chance to make amends. But in saying all of this you must also realize who refuses to change and continues to hurt you.
To me emotions are like smoke detectors they go off to warn you of a fire so you have time to get out. But in no way are emotions meant to guide you through the flames. When the smoke detectors start going off you search for flames then you call the fire department. So when you feelings warn you of impending doom you have to do the same thing. Don’t assume ask, look for the fire and if find a problem i.e. flames call on God for guidance and lean not onto your own understanding.
You must align yourself with the right people. Often you can’t get into certain groups because they profit you nothing. We are constantly trying to hang with certain people for the look or feel of things. When we should be more concerned about productivity.
say’s Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.
Sometimes you have to reroute your life. Stop trying to force yourself into something you don’t fit in and create your own space so you and people like you can be productive. I love to cook so I can hangout with a bunch a chef’s and become a better cook and be content because I’m doing what I love. But I will never be a chef because I am a writer and I will never be a better writer trying to be a chef.
You can do what you love or you can learn to love what you are good at. You will be happy either way but you can only be productive where you fit. I use this as an example to illustrate how you should not be lead by feelings because feelings change. I may love cooking today and dancing the next but I am productive in neither. This is the same philosophy you should use in relationships as well because being happy is relative but being productive is absolute. You have to control your emotions and not let them control you so you live up to your potential. Logic and emotion have to agree because you won’t always be productive in what you love but you will always love what you are productive in.
© 2015 Aquila Taite
He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.